Would you want me to watch your kids? is there anything wrong with this few paragraphs?

If this is an ad you need to shorten it. It's too wordy and contains too much information that people don't need to hear immediately. Tell them the basics in as few words as possible and include one impressive and catchy fact. You can tell them the rest over the phone if they call. I wouldn't mention that you don't do drugs or drink, you don't want to put even the possibility in their mind. If you appear to be the type who doesn't do that they probably won't even think of that. You can reduce some of the wordiness by just putting your name address and email at the end of your ad, it'll be clear that it's yours.